The Fincredible Diary of Fin Spencer Read online

  This had to be some sort of trick, right? He was going to hold the key up in front of everyone and say, ‘I’ve found the key to being Finterrible and it belongs to Fin Spencer!’ or something like that. He may like making me feel bad, but he can be quite funny sometimes.

  But he didn’t say anything of the sort. He just smiled, helped me to open my locker and then he started to fill my rucksack with books. Something VERY ODD was going on. Maybe BRAD had fallen over, bumped his head and woken up as a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON!

  As he put my chemistry book into my bag, he started to apologise for all the things he’d said yesterday. BRAD RADLEY! Apologising! I was so shocked ants could have been tap-dancing on my forehead and I wouldn’t have noticed! Apparently Brad had been thinking it over and he’d realised I was right – everything I’d said had really hit home.

  HANG ON! EVERYTHING I’D SAID? But I hadn’t said ANYTHING yesterday. He’d made me look like a dweeb and I’d just stood there and said nothing – like a dweeb!

  As I was going over all this in my head he was still talking. He was saying that he knew he shouldn’t be such a big bully, and then he announced that he’d decided to turn over a new leaf starting right now. From this day on, BRAD RADLEY was going to be nice to everyone. Then he threw an arm around my shoulder and gave me a big hug. ‘You’re FINCREDIBLE FIN,’ he said.

  I blinked in disbelief at what had just happened. Then JOSH came up to me, smiling from ear to ear. He leaned in close and said, ‘Well done, mate – you were FINCREDIBLE yesterday.’

  Now I can take CLAUDIA RONSON telling me I’m her number one guy. (Okay, she didn’t QUITE say that but it was close.) I can even take BRAD RADLEY giving me a hug. But JOSH calling me fincredible because of what happened yesterday? That’s just crazy! I hadn’t done ANYTHING. I marched JOSH into the boys’ toilets and demanded to know what was going on.

  He seemed a bit confused. ‘You know, yesterday, when you finally stood up to BRAD RADLEY!’

  When I did WHAT? ‘Go on,’ I said. ‘It’s all a bit of a blur to me, for some reason.’

  ‘You’ve got to remember! He was taking the mickey out of you for all those daft things you did – the uniform, the pants, the cheesy stink, the Unicorn Island thing …’

  Yes, yes, yes! Get on with it! I thought.

  ‘But instead of just standing there, you told him that he was nothing but a big bully and lots of people thought so. Then you told him you weren’t finterrible, you were fincredible – FINCREDIBLE FIN SPENCER – and you’d prove it by winning the talent show with me next week.’

  WHAT WAS HE TALKING ABOUT? Had the caretaker pumped the corridor full of crazy gas or something? That’s not what I remembered at all. It’s what I wished I had said but that’s a very different thing. I’d NEVER dare say that to BRAD RADLEY’s face.

  Before I could say anything, JOSH took out his phone and played a video of me telling BRAD exactly what I, and everyone else, thought of him. (It seems like everyone’s got a fantastic camera phone which can take really great videos except me. I haven’t got any kind of phone, not even one that makes calls. I don’t want to make calls, but I do want to take photos and videos and surf the ‘net and … well EVERYTHING! But guess what? A phone is first prize in the school talent show, so it’s only a matter of time.)

  Anyway, back to the video on JOSH’s phone. It was definitely ME, telling BRAD RADLEY exactly what I thought of him. So why couldn’t I remember saying any of it? Suddenly it dawned on me – I was obviously still fast asleep and dreaming. I needed to wake up.

  I asked JOSH to pinch me, which he was a little too happy to do, if you ask me.

  It hurt, but I didn’t wake up.

  Then I realised that what everyone thought I’d said was exactly what I’d written in my diary. I was about to tell JOSH this when the bell rang.

  In class Mrs Johnson gave us a maths test and I was brought back to reality with a bump. It’s not that I’m bad at maths …

  She mentioned it yesterday, but I must have been so distracted by everything that I forgot all about it. I had meant to get up early this morning and revise for it but even though I always mean to, I NEVER DO. This time, if I had actually got up and revised, I know I could have done well – it was quite easy for a maths test. I did my best. I knew I’d got at least one question right …

  But that was a small blip in an amazing day! Because I’d apparently stood up to BRAD, quite a lot of people were super nice to me. In the lunch hall there’s a special table next to the window where BRAD RADLEY and the cool kids sit. I NEVER sit there. Today they asked me to join them.

  BRAD RADLEY even went to get my lunch for me and shared his crisps. Maybe I’ve misjudged him. I always knew he could be mean, but he can be pretty funny too. Now that we’ve had our little chat we might even become friends.

  Days like today just don’t happen to me. I was the centre of attention. I was a hero. I was incredible. No, scratch that – I was FINCREDIBLE!

  As I was heading back to class after lunch, CLAUDIA RONSON came over for the second time and said, ‘Hi!’

  I was so nervous I didn’t know what to say back. It was as if my mouth had gone to Mars. I just smiled like a dweeb and scurried into class. If I really was FINCREDIBLE FIN I’d have said something funny or clever immediately, wouldn’t I? But my brain doesn’t work like that. OH WELL! Days can’t be completely perfect, can they?

  When I got home, I sat in my room and got out this diary. Something strange was going on and I wondered if this diary was behind it. I leafed back through the pages. Yesterday I wrote what I wanted to say to BRAD and today everybody thought that was what I really had said, even if I knew I hadn’t. Yesterday I wanted to be FINCREDIBLE FIN SPENCER and today I AM. Is this diary magic?

  NOW HOLD ON! I know that magic diaries don’t exist. If I start telling people I’ve got a magic diary they might think I really did go to and that they made while I was there.

  I don’t want to think about it too much, because whatever’s going on, today was THE BEST DAY EVER – apart from the maths test and looking like a dweeb in front of CLAUDIA RONSON. I really should have got up a bit earlier this morning and revised, and I really wish I’d said something cool back to CLAUDIA – something like, ‘Hi! Fincredible Fin speaking!’ – and given her a wink and a cheeky smile.

  TOO LATE NOW. But there’s always tomorrow. And who knows, now that I’ve written it in the diary maybe it’ll work its magic again. Not that I really believe in magic, of course, but … well anything’s possible when you’re FINCREDIBLE.

  When I woke up this morning I couldn’t wait to get to school. I knew that school was going to be SOOOOO MUCH COOLER now I was Fincredible! I hopped out of bed and rushed downstairs for breakfast.

  While I was sitting at the table Mum put her hand on my forehead and asked if I was feeling all right.

  I told her I’d never felt better and then both my mum and dad shared a worried look. Apparently they’d never seen me looking so cheerful in the morning and they thought I might be coming down with something. Yesterday I spent all morning trying to convince them that I was ill and today, when I was feeling fine, they thought I’d got pneumonia or something. PARENTS! How do they get it so wrong? You’d think they’d be better at it by now; they’ve had TWELVE YEARS of practice!

  Anyway, nothing was going to spoil my mood, not even Mum telling me she’d decided to stop buying Coco Snaps. She thought we should all eat her disgusting Keep Fit cereal every day instead. ‘It will keep you regular,’ she said. That’s mum-speak for ‘Make you poo lots’. Mums are obsessed with things like that. Don’t ask me why. You’d think they’d have better things to do with their time – like BUYING COCO SNAPS!

  Anyway, as I said, I wasn’t going to let it get me down. Today was going to be awesome.

  As I was walking through the school gates I waved to all my new friends (or should that be fans?). Then I spotted CLAUDIA RONSON and strolled over to say hello. I was trying to be
cool, to make up for yesterday, but she just acted like I was or something.

  That was weird. I know I couldn’t think of anything to say to her yesterday, but surely that didn’t mean she’d ignore me COMPLETELY today?

  I told JOSH what had happened with CLAUDIA when we were lining up for registration. He said he had overheard CLAUDIA tell her mates that she thought I was a bighead because yesterday I’d told her I was FINCREDIBLE FIN and then I’d winked and given her this really creepy smile, like I was farting or something.

  What was JOSH talking about? I’ve barely forgiven him for not letting me stunt-jump over him at the talent show and now he’s saying CLAUDIA thinks I’m creepy? He needs to watch out – there are other people to be friends with. Anyway, I didn’t smile at her at all, I just walked off embarrassed.

  It was then that I knew for sure just how amazing this diary is. It DOES make things happen – it IS magic!

  Last night I definitely wrote that I wished I’d said something cool to CLAUDIA and given her a cheeky smile. And now it seems like that’s what I did! Well, it may have backfired a bit – CLAUDIA wasn’t impressed by me calling myself fincredible, and she thought my cheeky smile was creepy – but that’s not the point. The point is,

  Now that I was sure, I knew the rest of the day was going to be a breeze.

  I practically skipped into Mrs Johnson’s class. She looked me up and down and asked if I was feeling all right. Honestly! A grown-up wouldn’t know a sick kid if they coughed up a lung in their face.

  Once everyone was sitting down Mrs Johnson handed back the tests from yesterday. At first I was a bit scared to look at it. But then I remembered that if I was right about the diary, I had nothing to worry about! I flipped over the paper and, sure enough, I’d done brilliantly! It was the first time that had ever happened! It was so rare, Mrs Johnson asked me to stand up while the whole class gave me a round of applause. OKAY, THAT WAS SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING, BUT I COULD COPE WITH IT. Then she gave me three merits and said she’d send an email home to my parents.

  The rest of the morning sailed by. As I was going off to lunch I gave Mrs Johnson my cheeky smile. She asked me if I needed to go to the toilet …

  After lunch BRAD RADLEY came over to me and JOSH in the playground and showed us some really cool videos on his phone. BRAD and me were laughing like drains but JOSH wasn’t. He just looked at us and said,

  JOSH has never been the smartest meerkat in the burrow, and now he’s starting to be EMBARRASSING too. JOSH has been my best friend forever, but recently he’s been a bit dweeby. He ruined my idea for the best talent show stunt ever, he told me that my smile is creepy and now he won’t laugh at videos that are really funny. I’m starting to think that he might be the dweeby best friend that dweeby Fin deserved. But I’m not dweeby Fin any more, I’m FINCREDIBLE FIN, and FINCREDIBLE FIN deserves a fincredible best mate. Someone like BRAD RADLEY.

  BRAD can be mean and rude, but if the joke’s not on you he can also be really funny. Truth be told, I’ve always kind of wished BRAD was on my side, and that we were mates. BRAD RADLEY might be a dweeb’s arch-enemy, but he’s a fincredible kid’s best friend!

  When the bell rang for the end of lunch, JOSH ran into school, like the dweeb he is, while BRAD and I took our time. As we were walking, BRAD asked me what I was doing for the talent show. I told him what JOSH and I had decided – I was going to jump over a shark tank on a bike while JOSH played a guitar solo.

  When BRAD heard my plans he said it sounded like the coolest stunt in the history of cool stunts and I told him he wasn’t wrong. I can nearly do it, too. I can ride a bike, I’ve got a wind-up shark, I can even jump over stuff. Now I just need to pull it all together. HOW HARD CAN IT BE?

  As we walked across the playground, BRAD said he had just one question: could I trust JOSH not to muck everything up? And as we were making our way into class that question started to play in my head. I knew I’d be fine – but JOSH was a liability. JOSH was ALWAYS a liability, especially in front of hundreds of people. I have to make sure JOSH isn’t going to let me down. We are going to practise like we’ve never practised before.

  When I got home Mum was waiting for me in the hall with a printout of Mrs Johnson’s email. She gave me a big hug and told me how proud she was and that there was a surprise for me on the kitchen table.

  I ran to take a look and there I saw … A BIG BOX OF COCO SNAPS!

  Okay, it wasn’t the ticket to the X-WING concert I was hoping for, but it was a start. And that gave me an idea …

  The paper was still on the table so I opened it at the page of adverts and said, ‘THAT is going to be a great concert.’

  Mum actually looked at the page, raised an eyebrow and said, ‘We’ll see.’ Which everybody knows is mum-speak for ‘I’ll call up the band and get backstage passes!’

  Those tickets are in the bag!

  After dinner I rushed upstairs, and just before I started writing, I gave the diary a kiss. I might kiss it again when I’ve finished! It deserves all the love I can give it. That batty old lady at the funfair was right. This diary can get me anything I want! Sure, things aren’t great with CLAUDIA, but that’s not the diary’s fault – that was mine for not thinking it through properly. I’ll get it right next time.

  This diary lets me change history. I can do or say anything I want and it doesn’t matter – I can just use the diary to make it better! I’M UNTOUCHABLE!

  Bring on tomorrow – I’m going to have FUN!

  Ever had one of those days where you know nothing can go wrong? I have, and it was all thanks to my Fincredible Diary!

  The fun started at breakfast. As I came downstairs ELLIE was about to help herself to my Coco Snaps, the Coco Snaps Mum had bought me for doing so well at school yesterday. That wasn’t fair and for once Mum actually agreed with me. She made Ellie hand the box over and told her that she could have some after I’d eaten my fill. I like a challenge, so I ate seventeen bowls of Coco Snaps one after the other. It took half an hour and made my eyes go funny, but it was worth it.

  By the time I’d finished there were no Coco Snaps left. ELLIE had to eat Keep Fit breakfast cereal instead. Mum was really cross when she saw what had happened. I shrugged and belched, ‘Sorry’, but I was laughing so much I fell off the chair.

  That made Mum even crosser, but WHO CARES?

  This diary is going to make sure nobody but me remembers anything about it tomorrow!

  When I got to school I changed into an X-WING T-shirt and trainers I’d brought from home. As I walked down the corridor everybody stared. I was getting used to that now. They couldn’t believe what I was doing, but FINCREDIBLE FIN had decided that uniforms were for dweebs, X-WING T-shirts were for WINNERS.

  When CLAUDIA saw me she turned away and whispered to her friends. I knew she’d be impressed.

  BRAD met me at my locker and helped me with my books again. As he was packing my rucksack, JOSH arrived.

  He seemed really worried.

  he said.

  JOSH is soooo boring. I did not look ridiculous – I looked fincredible. BRAD said he thought I looked amazing – that’s more like it! It’s obvious JOSH and I are drifting apart. It’s not a problem though – now BRAD’s not being mean to me I like him, and he’s got cool friends so now I don’t have to hang around with JOSH all the time.

  At registration Mrs Johnson asked me what I thought I was wearing. I told her, ‘I don’t think I’m wearing anything, I KNOW I’m wearing an X-WING T-shirt.’ I’d never normally have dared to say anything like that, but knowing I could change whatever was going to happen by writing in my diary made me feel invincible.

  The class started to laugh. Mrs Johnson gave me a look and asked what had happened to my uniform. I told her a badger ate it.

  The class laughed even louder and Mrs Johnson started to fume. I could almost see smoke coming out of her ears. She asked if I was feeling all right. NOT AGAIN – I felt FINE! I asked her if she was feeling all right because she was t
he one with smoke coming out of her ears. Then I winked at CLAUDIA and she shook her head in disbelief.

  When the class had stopped laughing Mrs Johnson said, ‘We can discuss your uniform choices at break time.’ Which everybody knows is teacher-speak for ‘You’re in big trouble.’ It doesn’t matter though – thanks to this diary, tomorrow she won’t remember any of it and I’ll be back in her good books.

  In English Mrs Houstoun announced a surprise spelling test. One by one we had to stand up and spell a word that she chose. I’ve never seen the point of spelling. HAVE TEACHERS NOT HEARD OF AUTOCORRECT?

  Anyway, when she got to me she picked a really hard one. I bet it was on purpose. She asked me to spell ‘uranium’. I stood up and began, ‘U … R … A …’ And then a fincredible idea popped into my head. I turned to JOSH and said, ‘U … R … A … Dweeb!’

  Everyone started to laugh again – apart from JOSH and Mrs Houstoun. If I’m being honest, I felt a bit bad for making fun of JOSH in front of everybody. But then, he is being a bit of a dweeb at the moment. He’s always got a reason why I shouldn’t do something instead of a reason why I should. Besides, it was funny and, thanks to this diary, everyone will have forgotten about it by tomorrow so it doesn’t really matter, DOES IT?

  Mrs Johnson gave me a red docket. That meant I had to go to the headmaster after school. I’ve never had a red docket before – they’re usually reserved for people like BRAD RADLEY. Then she also took back the three merits I got yesterday and made me sit outside the classroom until break. No more spelling test!

  After break (which I spent in Mrs Johnson’s room “discussing my uniform choices”) it was time for music. I LOVE MUSIC. I’m really good at it, too. The only problem is that Mr Burchester has terrible taste. He makes us play really lame stuff like nursery rhymes or songs from the 1970s, which no one ever remembers. Today he wanted us to play something called ‘Stairway to Heaven’ … NEVER HEARD OF IT!